How to Talk about Yourself on a Date and Not to Seem Like a Douche

28.09.2017

First Date Conversations: How to get to Know Each Other Naturally

First date conversation is very important. Depending on it, you may or may not have a second date. It is essential for you to talk about yourself if you wish to know your dating partner better. Your date can only be as successful as effective is your communication. Without a sincere conversation that sheds light on who you really are you can’t expect a woman to become interested in you. Read the following guide and get familiar with some of the first date conversation tips.

Express Interest

One of the best tips for first date conversation is to express interest in your dating partner. You should approach a person you’re dating with sincere interest. Be full of enthusiasm to know your dating partner. Who she really is, what she likes, what she doesn’t like, etc. Ask her questions and follow her attentively. Make her compliments, be shocked, thrilled, and amazed. Express positive emotions so she could know that you’re interested in her.

How to Start a Conversation?

Often men find it hard to start a conversation. It may be difficult to do because there’s no common ground between you and your dating partner on a first date. You simply don’t know each other. Therefore, you both are open to various scenarios. However, this diversity of choice instead of pushing men towards creative and original solutions, often make them numb and unable to talk about anything. Men often justify that by saying “I didn’t know what to talk about”. Reading the following guide you’ll become aware of how absurd this justification sounds.

Talking is Easy

Making a conversation should not be a challenge for you. Unless a woman you’re dating is really boring or way too intelligent, you should do okay by keeping in mind how easy what you need to do is. Everybody talks, all people have conversations regularly. In fact, there’s nothing easier than talking. Remember to talk with your date in a casual manner. She’s neither a princess, nor a model (unless you’re very, very lucky, of course). Therefore, there’s no need to think hard and pay enormous efforts just to say something. Stay relaxed, be open, and talk in a manner that makes you comfortable.

Questions to Ask to get to Know Each Other

Here are some good conversation starters for first dates. Instead of talking about weather or food, ask her where she is from (what city, province, state, country). Then, ask her about her family, education, work. This is exactly how people try getting to know each other. Ask her where she bought such a nice dress or her very fashionable purse. You should come up with these questions easily all by yourself. It shouldn’t bother you at all. You will see how easy it is once you try it yourself.

Ask her about some cool movie that recently was in the cinema. You may ask her about some popular stuff everybody knows about. In other words, find something she probably knows about and ask her about it. For example, everybody heard about a recent earthquake in Mexico or a new Beyonce album. Make it work for you and build a common ground.

Try to Learn More About Her

Don’t press it hard but try to know as much about her as you can. Seeing your interest will most certainly flatter her. Still, don’t overdo it. You should ask as much as you’re willing to tell about yourself. In other words, ask her anything that you wouldn’t mind been asking yourself.

General information like family background, job position, education, place of residence, etc. is important. Still, it can’t say much about a person. In order to know her better you need to find out what her tastes and preferences are. Start with a typical “what’s your favorite color/flower” but proceed to more detailed questions. Find out what music she likes, what films she watches, and what books she reads. Perhaps, she’s into sports. Try to know what sports she likes and why. How does she spend her free time?

Serious Questions

Generally, you shouldn’t touch upon some serious topics on a first date. This stuff is usually left for the next stages of dating. Still, there may be exceptions. Depending on a situation, decide it for yourself. It is advisable to ask at least one serious question. You may paraphrase it as you like but its essence is the following: what do you expect from relationships? Your goal is to find out what kind of relationships she looks for and why. Speaking in broader terms, why is she dating? Note that you should be able to answer this question yourself as well.

Talking About Yourself on a Date: a Professional Advice

If you want to get to know each other, you need to tell her about yourself. When you tell her about yourself, you need to make a good impression. You can only do that by being passionate when you present yourself. Whether you’re talking about your job, your hobbies or tastes in music, do it with passion and enthusiasm. Women like to see interesting, passionate, and enthusiastic men. Talking about yourself requires you to show a girl your best sides. Don’t tell her anything big or serious like family matters or challenges at work. Also, don’t feed her with just small details. Mix something important with something insignificant. You should delicately balance between casual small talk on one side and serious conversation on the other.

Tell About Yourself

Another advice on how to talk about yourself suggests telling about something that defines you as a person. In other words, you need to tell what makes you who you are. What makes you different? Why and how are you original? A woman you’re dating will most probably want to know the answers to these questions. Therefore, start by answering them yourself first.

Non-Verbal Communication

How do you talk about yourself depends on the tone of your voice, gestures, mimics, and moves. It’s called non-verbal communication. Start by getting used to smile. The more you smile the better. But do it sincerely and at the right occasions. Then, adjust the tone of your voice. If a girl speaks quietly, lower your voice. Under no circumstances, should you shout. Don’t make sudden moves. People don’t like sharp moves and consider them distracting and irritating. Still, to express your emotions effectively and be passionate, use gestures. Emphasize the important things you say with the moves of your hands. You think orators do it without a reason?

Positive Emotions and Optimistic Approach

Your attitude should be positive. Whether you’re asking questions or answering them, you shouldn’t think that smiling is all you need to do. You need to be positive in your approach. Your success depends on your optimism, enthusiasm, and joyfulness. People get together to spend time having fun. Therefore, be joyful about everything you do and say. In case she’s not in the mood, your positive approach would most likely melt her cold heart. Keep in mind that enthusiasm and optimism are contagious.

What not to Do?

So, how can you have a nice conversation without seeming as a douche? Here is the list of typical problems you need to avoid when talking with a woman on a first date. Following them will make your communication more effective. Everything depends on how you communicate. Dating itself is a process of communication. Therefore, don’t fail it.

Talking too Much

Under no circumstances, should you talk more than she does. Sometimes during a date one partner demands all attention. You shouldn’t talk all the time. Yes, this is a way of presenting yourself. But doing it like this makes a girl think you’re not interested in her. Moreover, don’t you want to know her? Either you don’t like her, or you want to know her. There’s no third option. You can’t like her and ignore her at the same time.

Not Talking at All

Some men avoid talking about themselves. If you think it is a humble thing to do, then you need to know that men shouldn’t be humble. You won’t get far being humble. It doesn’t mean you should be proud of yourself all the time. No, it means presenting yourself as you are. Unless you present yourself, you wouldn’t be able to win a second a date. A woman you’re dating wants to know you. Therefore, you need to give her what she wants. You simply can’t refuse her being a douche.

Pressing It Hard

If a girl doesn’t want to talk about something, don’t press her. Men often make a typical mistake by going to extremes. They turn a conversation into interrogation. Be gentle and wise in your approach. You’re not collecting data for a profile. The way you talk shouldn’t be a list of questions. Insert some casual remarks into conversation. Mix questions with answers. Make an observation about something in front of you.

Absence of Originality

You won’t win just following the algorithm. Yes, this is a good guide here. Still, you should think for yourself because that is the only way to be original. Other men can also read this guide. Therefore, you need to come up with your own ideas, approach, and attitude. The essence of originality is in creative thinking. To prove that you’re unique you need to be creative. So, try to make up interesting conversation starters or questions to ask her on your own.

All in all, now you know what to do to make an interesting conversation. Keep in mind that the success of your first date entirely depends on your ability to make a good conversation. Don’t be too harsh on yourself because not everything depends on you. The way she talks also matters. Do everything you can but don’t jump over your head. Perhaps, she doesn’t deserve it. Follow the tips and get ready for some major improvements. Ask her questions, passionately tell about yourself, and be confident. Good luck!