Main Signs of Clinginess in a Relationship
04.02.2020
When it comes to romantic relationships, we often behave needy or even greedy. Needless to say, we desperately want to spend as much time with our partners as we only can, especially at the beginning of our relationships. Of course, with time, we get used to our partners, and our obsession with them more or less disappears. Normally, we have friends, private time, and can be active outside our relationships. As you have guessed, there are also other cases when partners remain obsessed with each other. In other words, this phenomenon is called clinginess in a relationship.
It is crucial to understand that our desire to spend a lot of time with people we are dating is very natural. When we love someone, we want to be with them, learn more about them, and always be there to help. Unfortunately, this is a double-edged sword. Yes, this our desire is natural and is the main reason why we want to have romantic relationships, but sometimes, it comes too far, and this is where numerous problems may appear. If two people are equally obsessed with each other, they get isolated and tend to lose friends, but even worse, when only one partner is obsessed with the other one. In this case, while you may want to have a private time, your partner may fear that you don't want to be with him or her anymore.
Definition of a Clingy Person
So, what is a clingy person? In simple words, a clingy person is someone obsessed with you. Clingy people never want to leave you, and their desire to spend as much time with you as they only can have come way too far to be pleasant and cute. When you meet those people, they always not only try to start a conversation with you but also want to join you in your activities. For example, you have found some brilliant ladies dating site, and want to put it to the test by setting a date with someone you have met there. If on your way to your new girlfriend, you meet a clingy friend or, what is even worse, a clingy person who wants to date you, they will try to join you even on your date! So, now, you see how annoying this can be.
Things become even more complicated when you date a clingy person. Probably you already can imagine the main signs of clinginess in a relationship. To make things even more clear, later in this article, we will come back to the most important signs of clingy behavior. As you may have guessed, there are many various clingy relationship problems. First of all, by dating a clingy person, you won't have much time for your friends and hobbies. Even though your clingy partner will do everything he or she can to make you feel happy, you probably will forget about happiness once and for all.
So, clingy girlfriends are like that: let's imagine that you have finally managed to find a perfect girlfriend on one of those sites to find women. Of course, on your first date, she seems to be perfect, and you ask her to date you. She agrees, and at the beginning of your relationship, you feel like you hit a jackpot. But, sooner or later, your obsession will begin to disappear, and she turns into a burden. No, you still like to spend some time with her, but sometimes you want to hang out with your friends or just to have a private time. As you have guessed, your clingy partner will never allow you to do so.
Why Sometimes People Become Clingy?
Another clingy in a relationship definition tells that being clingy is the fastest way to destroy your relationship. Probably during our lives, we all have been clingy more than once, and this is normal. In fact, healthy relationships are about balance. Sadly, you will never find a perfect balance. At any given moment, you may love your partner more that he or she loves you, and vice versa. The key to happiness is to take equal turns in loving each other more. Before we can learn how to avoid being needy in a relationship, we need to know what causes clinginess in a relationship. Honestly, there can be many reasons that may cause clinginess, and most of those reasons are actually positive ones.
For example, among various being too clingy in a relationship examples, you can find many that are dictated by a very healthy and desire to care about your partner. This is only about the question of how much is too much? As you understand, the answer to this question is very personal for everyone and can be the main topic for a whole new article. But here we only want to know how to avoid clinginess in a relationship, and for this very reason, we investigate why people may become clingy.
The most obvious and also the most positive reason why your partner may become clingy is that he or she loves you. And there is nothing to worry about, since, in this case, it is relatively easy to fix this problem, you only need to talk to your partner about this bothering issue, and if he or she truly loves you, they will change. On the other hand, your partner may become clingy due to his or her fear of losing you. Often this fear appears when a person has problems with their self-esteem. Another reason for this is that people become clingy in painful situations. Thus, your partner may have some problems that he or she may be trying to hide from you. But those problems make him or her search for help and support in people they love. In this case, your partner subconsciously searches for help and support in you.
Main Signs of Clinginess
Now, when you know what clingy means in a relationship, the time has come to dive into clingy relationship signs. Of course, clingy people deep down know that they have this problem, but sometimes they need so-called reality checks. Plus, sometimes, it is very hard to tell the difference between a really clingy partner or your dying love that makes you wish to be free from your partner. Our feelings and emotions are very subjective, so here we want to share with you 5 clear signs of clinginess in a relationship.
1. Clingy people tend to obsessively wait for their partners to text them back
Yes, it is normal when people want their partner to text back, but it should never turn into an obsession. Thus, if your partner often asks why you didn't text back in a couple of minutes, or even blames you for ignoring him or her, it is a clear sign of a clingy person.
2. Clingy people often sacrifice their interests
Pay attention to your partner's interests. For example, maybe she, at the beginning of your relationships, liked to read a lot, but with the development of your relationships, she forgot about this her hobby, to have more time to play some games with you. This "substitution" of interests and hobbies may be a very destructive factor for your partner's happiness.
3. Clingy people freak out when they don’t hear back their partners
Due to their overprotective nature, clingy partners can easily freak out when they stop hearing their partners, for example, during a phone conversation. They tend to assume "the worst." So, when this happens, listen to your partner's reaction very attentively. A clingy person will sound very scared and worried.
4. Clingy people get mad when you go out without them
Clingy people will never accept the fact that two people in love sometimes need to separately hang out with their friends or have a private time. If your partner worries too much or gets upset every time you go out without him or her, it is a clear sign that you are dating a clingy person.
5. Clingy people tend to check go-to places of their partners
This one is huge, since checking go-to spots borders spying and stalking. This is the clearest sign that your partner is clingy. Sad to say, but if your partner has come to that, you may never be able to fix this issue in your relationship. Thus, you should never ignore other signs that indicate clinginess.
Is It Possible to Change Such a Person?
If you see that your partner is a very clingy person, it doesn't mean that you should immediately break up with him or her. As we have said, there can be many different reasons for clinginess, and some of those reasons are very easy to fix. So, it is way important to ask yourself whether you are ready to pay efforts to help your partner deal with this problem. Unfortunately, people often claim that their partners are clingy when they don't want to be with them anymore, but they are not ready to break up yet. Thus, if you happened to date a clingy person, you need to determine whether you truly love your partner.
If you know that you are very happy with him or her, but still would like to make your partner less clingy, the only thing you need to do is to talk to your partner. Don't hide this problem from your partner. Via conversation, you both will learn the real reason behind this problem. Thus, you will know how to fix them. The most important thing is that you both should be ready to change. For example, your partner may not see his or her clinginess as a problem and may even blame you for "being cold." In this case, all your efforts will be in vain.
On the other hand, if you recognize yourself as a clingy person, you also need to talk to your partner about your fears. In this case, you should use your desire to make your partner happy as a tool that will help you deal with your own insecurities. As we have said, a clinginess may be a reason for low self-esteem, and your partner is the only one who can help you deal with this problem. Plus, talking to your partner about this problem will give you a desired source of security.
Ways to Overcome Clinginess in a Relationship
So, how to be less clingy in a relationship? No matter who is a clingy partner in your relationships, you both will have to work hard to deal with this problem. It is great if you've managed to find a real reason that made you or your partner clingy, but even if the real reason remains hidden, there are many universal steps that you and your partner can do to fix this problem.
Boundaries respect
The first thing that you and your partner need to do is to set clear personal boundaries. As you may have guessed, none of you is allowed to break those boundaries. It is crucial to know when there is too much of "love and care."
Spending more time alone
Some say that to be happy with someone, first of all, you need to learn how to be happy on your own. By spending time alone, you will not only value your time with your partner but also will learn more about yourself.
Search new hobby
Hobbies are very important because trough hobbies we not only develop skills but also learn to be happy with ourselves and the results of our work. When your partners want to hang out with his or her friends alone, you, instead of stalking or texting them, should do something for yourself. A new hobby well helps you draw your attention from your partner.
Meditation
Meditation is a very useful tool when it comes to obtaining internal peace and calmness. To meditate properly, you will need to learn how to clear your head of all worries and thoughts about your partner. In the beginning, you may try to meditate with your partner.
Spend less time on the phone
Just forget about your phone! Every time you see your phone, you probably think about your partner and ask yourself why he or she doesn't call you back or answer your messages. By abandoning your phone, you also won't distract your partner with hundreds of your messages from his or her work.
Yes, a clingy partner can turn what seemed a pretty happy relationship into a real nightmare, but it doesn't mean that you should immediately break up if you see that you have this problem in your relationship. Even though clinginess is a sign of insecurity, it is also a great sign that your partner really loves you and needs your support. So, instead of getting angry, try to support your partner, and give him or her what they want. In turn, your partner will see that you are not going to abandon him or her, and this is a key to recovery from his or her clinginess. Remember, you are literally the only one who can help your clingy partner deal with this problem. You can be a hero, who will drag his or her lover from the claws of insecurity, or the villain who will push him or her even further in. The choice is yours.
