Crucial Red Flags in Dating and Early Relationships
20.02.2020
At some point in our lives, we all had friends who, for some reason, decided to date people who seem to be a very poor dating choice. For example, they can be aggressive, impulsive, or arrogant. Surely, everyone can see this, except for our friends who decide to date those people. Of course, we say to ourselves that this will never happen to us, but sooner or later while browsing some site to meet a girl, we find a person who possesses all those terrible qualities, and soon, we find ourselves on our friends' place dating someone whom normally we try to avoid.
How is this possible?
It happens because romantic feelings always suppress our critical thinking. It is crucial to understand that we love people, not for their good or bad qualities, but their personalities in general. Therefore, often, we don't even see their flaws, at least at the beginning of a romantic relationship. The reason for this lies in our hormones. As you may know, dopamine and oxytocin directly affect our judgment. Surely, by dating the wrong person, you can seriously damage your life. So, it is very important to learn special red flags in dating that will help you avoid those problems.
What Are Dating Red Flags?
Breaking up is very hard and painful, this is why humans have created many different red flags for dating, but what are red flags in dating? In simple words dating red flags are special rules and signs that help you understand whether you can be happy with this person or not. Everyone has his or her attitude toward dating. Plus, we all have different expectations from our partners. This explains why there are so many different dating red flags to look for in a woman. Surely different red flags serve to help different genders and social groups.
For example, political views often serve as one of the early red flags in dating, because some people can't stand having a partner with different political views, especially today. Even though we all have the right to have our positions and views on politics, for some people, they may not be acceptable. Because of that, those people won't want to date us. As you can see from our small example with political views, this is not about discrimination of any kind since we all the right to believe in what we believe and the right to be with those we like. Therefore, don't be afraid of creating your own dating red flags.
Yes, the variety of red flags for dating a woman is very wide, and your personal tastes play a major role in those red flags. However, we don't recommend you create a strict number of them, especially if you are not very experienced in dating. Because, by doing this, you won't give anyone a single chance, as we all have our flaws and problems. Instead, pay attention to our list of red flags in dating a woman. Our list contains universal rules that will help you avoid problems in your future relationships. Besides, some of them will help you understand whether she is interested in you or not.
Main Risks of Ignoring Red Flags Before Dating
While we were explaining the necessity of dating red flags for guys, we have already mentioned some possible risks of ignoring the red flags. To begin with, we want to tell you that there are no special rules or red flags that will guarantee that you won't be disappointed in someone. Red flags serve only to understand with decent preciseness what you may expect from your new partner. Nevertheless, by ignoring numerous red flags, you are risking to spoil yourself all the pleasure of dating a person you like.
Developing of codependent relationships
Have you ever heard about codependent relationships? The codependency appears when the first partner needs the second one much more than the second one needs the first one. In simple words, one of the partners feels less happy in relationships. There can be many types of codependent relationships and many ways how codependency may spoil your relationships. So, it is better to act in advance.
Emotional abuse
Emotional abuse is one of the most painful forms of abuse. After all, bruises and scratches heal way faster than emotional wounds. Certainly, it is better to avoid any kind of abuse in a relationship because recovering may take too much time, and some emotional wounds become traumas and may not heal at all.
Disappointment in women
This one is very tricky. Probably you have already met people who tend to put everyone in the same mixing pot. After a certain number of failures, this may happen to everyone, even to you. You may get disappointed in all women purely because you have been choosing the wrong ones.
Trust issues in other relationships
Everyone understands that we can't be happy in romantic relationships without trust. We simply can't feel relaxed around those whom we don't trust. But you definitely will have problems trusting other people if you have been lied to or tricked for more than once.
Very unpleasant breakup Honestly, all breakups hurt. You simply can't break up with someone you were used to loving without pain. This is how our emotions work. Happily, by choosing the right people, and working on your relationships, you can shorten the number of breakups down to zero.
Dating Red Flags for Guys to Notice on the First Date
Talking about shorting the number of possible breakups, it is crucial to understand the whole concept of red flags in dating. Doctors always say that it is better to prevent than to heal. The very same principle works here. By analyzing the major red flags before dating, you can avoid breaking up with this or that person because you won't get involved in relationships with those people at all! The formula is very simple: you go on a couple of dates with someone, during those dates you analyze his or her behavior and make a final decision whether you want to be with this person. Sounds too cold? Well, yes, this approach may kill all passion in the beginning, but saved nerves are worth it.
She is very late with no good reason
Okay, here we have two people who are very interested in each other and are trying to play together somehow. So, why on Earth some of them will be late for a date? Even if your girlfriend is very late, she did that because of something and only once, right? If the whole situation seems to be way out of control, and your new girlfriend is always late for your date, it may be wise to avoid dating her. Of course, first of all, you need to talk to her and tell her that you don't like her being late. For example, Russian girls traditionally come a little bit late to their dates, because this is a sort of a tradition in Russia. But they stop doing it as soon as you ask them to.
She is too nice and shy How can possible this be bad? You see, ask yourself how do you behave when you desperately want someone to like you, or when you have something to hide? Right, you try to be nice and shy. Surely, this also may mean that you have just encountered a highly educated and naturally shy woman, and there is nothing bad about this, but you need to analyze her behavior. Pay attention to the way how she dresses, texts you, behaves with her friends, and what photo she uploads to the web. This will help you find mismatches in the way how she interacts with you and other people, including her ex-partners.
She is rude to other people
No one likes rude people, because it is very unpleasant to interact with them. Generally, we advise you to avoid dating a rude person. First of all, sooner or later, this person will become rude to you too. Secondly, you will have a hard time explaining to your friends and relatives why your beloved partner insults them so often. Often, people are rude because they have some hidden problems or even emotional traumas. You are not a psychotherapist, and you won't be able to fix those traumas, so don't even try.
She doesn't listen to you
Two people in love always want to listen to each other. In fact, they enjoy the time when their partners address them, tell them stories, jokes, and so on. If you see that your new girlfriend doesn't seem to be interesting in what you have to say, it means that she is not interested in your either. Probably, from the very first second of your first date, you will be able to notice that your new girlfriend only likes to talk about herself and respects only her values and beliefs.
She doesn't laugh at your jokes
As we have already said, two people in love often share the same jokes and the same sense of humor. The same happens when people like you. They begin to laugh from our jokes and always try to support you. On the other hand, if you see that this person often hides her eyes when you make jokes and doesn't laugh at all. It can mean only two things. First, you have a terrible sense of humor. Second, she is not interested in you. It is up to you to find out what is going on in your case.
She mentions her exes
Remember that people mention their ex-partners on dates with their new potential partners only when they still have suffered from the breakup. Needless to say that people should get involved in new relationships only when they have healed from the ex-ones. In this case, don't end your date immediately, but try to support her. She is going through very hard times. I know this is not your problem but being nice can never hurt. After the date, wish her luck and tell that this is not what you are searching for.
She is emotionally estranged
Emotionally estranged people often need special help to deal with their problems. So, don't try to help her by yourself, because the other option is that she is not interested in you at all. She has her own world full of interesting moments and worries, fortunately, or unfortunately, you are not part of that world. After the date, gently tell her that you didn't feel the chemistry between you. Thus, you won't insult her.
Red Flags in Dating a Woman in the Very First Month of a Relationship
At the beginning of this article, we have mentioned hormones dopamine and oxytocin that directly affect our mood and behavior when we fall in love. Oftentimes, when this happens, people tend to miss all red flags while dating. Plus, very often, people miss them intentionally, believing that their partner will change or that everything will be found for some other reason. If you have found yourself in relationships, but for whatever reason, you doubt your choice of a romantic partner. You can pay attention to additional red flags in relationships when dating.
Lack of connection
Emotional connection is crucial when it comes to romantic relationships between people. This is a very simple and fundamental rule that plays a key role in your happiness. Therefore, if you see that you and your partner don't have a connection, it means that you need to work more on your relationship. At least, try to discuss this problem with him or her, and then act according to your partner's reaction.
Tiny misunderstandings and disputes
Generally, alone tiny misunderstandings and disputes happen even in the happiest relationships. The main difference is that happy relationships also have other things except for those two, while unhappy ones consist solely on problems, disputes, and misunderstandings. As you have guessed, you are with the wrong person if the second case reminds you of your relationship.
You make yourself feel affection to her
Ask yourself, do you really love your girlfriend? Maybe you are with her only because you fear loneliness? In any case, if, for some reason, you have to make yourself feel affection to her, your relationship is doomed. Sooner or later, you will get tired of forcing yourself, and your relationship will break.
Troubles in intimacy
Intimacy in a romantic relationship with a beloved partner is about trust, support, sharing your significant other's feelings, and caring for him or her. I can't imagine how two people can be happy together without those things. Therefore, the lack of intimacy should be a very clear red flag for you.
Remember, various red flags in dating exist to help you avoid mistakes when it comes to choosing a perfect romantic partner. Each person has his or her own red flags because we all are very different, and we all have our interests and desires. It is up to you to decide whether you will trust daring red flags or not, but we strongly recommend you to treat partners who have too many of them with caution. In addition, to make sure that you have a perfect match with your new girlfriend, you can start a conversation about her red flags in dating. This will help you get acquainted and learn more about each other.
