Giving Love a Second Chance: Does It Really Work?

19.12.2018

Content

One of the most important qualities people in relationships should have is the unquestioning acceptance of their partner. No one has the right to change a person, even the closest one has no right to do this. You can only influence your loved one and try to work together on some problem issues, but never demand from your partner anything – this will only push them away. If you do your best to help your lover become a better person and he/she keeps making the same mistakes, there is no acceptance on their side, then there is a reasonable recommendation that you should think twice before giving them another chance. Is it possible to change a person? Should a second chance be given to a cheater? How to make your relationship work after the reunion? Read below to find out.

giving someone a second chance

Giving a second chance: why it's a good idea

When a life partner betrays you, resentment just tears the heart apart and breaks soul into pieces, even the desire to live disappears. But life does not end there, you need to make an important decision: to break off relations or to start from the beginning. If you don’t have a desire to forgive and give a second chance, you can hardly build relationships again. But if a loved one takes an oath that this will not happen again, put your feeling aside and think clearly.

When does giving love a second chance pay off? According to the psychologists, couples in the following types of situations, with the right approach to building new relationships though, have a good chance to fix everything anew:

  • If your partner or you have realized the specific mistakes in your behavior after a long period of time passed, you can always try to adjust to new rails, begin to control yourself and your actions in the name of your happy future together. Reflect and find the cause and try to fix everything in order to avoid trouble in the future.
  • When a breakup gave a person a good jolt, and you feel he/she can become aware of their mistakes wanting to change your life for the better.
  • If you didn’t have many arguments and still need to learn how to easily face your conflicts and get over them.
  • If you have many things in common - family, children, a business – then giving an ex a second chance is worth it at least not to lose everything you have worked on so hard together.

Giving someone a second chance after cheating. When your partner is continually making the same mistakes, you’re arguing over some controversial topics all the time or the fact of cheating has leaked out – it is a completely different level. Not all people can forgive this kind of betrayal and live as if nothing happened. But is there even a point in forgiving a cheater after all?songs about giving love a second chance

If you are still crazy in love with the cheater, the question «Should you give someone a second chance after cheating» is constantly bothering you, and you cannot imagine your life without him/her, in addition to this, if your partner is repenting and you are almost 100% sure this will not ever happen again – then do not listen to anybody, you can get over the society prejudice and your pride. But do it only provided you feel you are ready to start from scratch and not blame your partner, as it was your personal choice to forgive him/her.

Finally, it is always worth trying to forgive people, but forgiveness does not imply the complete restoration of relationships. A second chance is a purely personal matter, and a person must take the decision independently, based on their life experience. However, one should not be too strict with others: after all, people are prone to making mistakes, and everyone can slip sometimes. The chances are a person is aware of what has happened and will never repeat the same mistake. And if you forgive them, they will treat you as studiously as never before.

Giving a second chance: why it's a bad idea

Remember that any relationship, any person can be given a second chance - no one bothers you to try, do something in a new way and change your approach. But remember that if a second chance can turn out to be successful, then the third, fifth, tenth chances are a waste of time and nerve cells. When does a second chance not lead to success?

A person does not realize the responsibility given to him/her and how big of effort have you made to step over your principles to give them another chance.

When the guilty one did not initiate the reunion, or arising the issue of you two starting over was not their idea. If a person did something wrong but did not admit their fault and you are the one that wants to get your relationship back to normal, this is probably an exercise in futility.

If there were problems in your relationship from the very beginning and addressing the problems did not result in the person changing, and everything was going wrong from day one, cut this person out of your life, no matter how painful it may be.

So, if the unpleasant situation is a repetition of the previous experience, this is a clear argument against the possibility of a second chance. Also, do not throw your trust into the wind. If you do not see the future with a particular person or are unsure about it, do not waste your time.

And, of course, when you are asked to give a chance and to forgive once again, you can say almost for sure that this will not end up well. If you have not been able to bring about the positive changes during the previous attempts, the third or fourth time will hardly be successful.

Second chance relationship: how to make it work

First of all, when you have problems inside your relationship, address them straightaway and do not let the situation get critical. However, if the circumstances have led to you breaking up or taking separate routes and then trying to get back together, you should be very careful. Start from a long conversation, get things off your chest without any constraint. And remember that there are things that cannot be forgiven such as assault, both physical harm and mental abuse.

If you decided to give a second chance relationship a try, stand up for yourself, do not be afraid to speak up and demand visible changes from your partner. But, when deciding on the reunion of the relationship, you can count only on some material evidence that the changes have occurred at this moment, because no one will ever give you guarantees about the future. No relationship, no matter how wonderful it may be now, can give you a ticket to a happy future.

Openly ask your partner for the warranties he/she can give you to prove the change in their way of thinking and treating you. Make up a list of things you want them to do and demand them to follow it. For example:

  • If you were dissatisfied with the laziness of your partner and him constantly asking you for money, then the employment can be an indicator of an actual change.
  • If you knew your partner had someone on the side, there must be a confirmation of their breakup.

A problem of mistrust can be solved in a frank and straightforward talk, which, by the way, should become a part of your daily routine, no secrets are allowed after giving someone a second chance.

Your partner was abusing alcohol and you question yourself «should I give him a second chance? » Use the help of a professional, turn to doctor and solve this problem together, get your partner’s promise not to drink anymore.

should i give my ex a second chanceIf living with the relatives of a partner, who constantly interfere in your personal space, was the problem, explain your partner that only provided they start renting a new apartment separately you will be ready to give them another chance and live happily together.

It is almost impossible to get any signs of accomplished changes if you kicked out a partner as a result of his constant connections on the side (for example, he is an unbearable womanizer). In such a situation, you can ask your partner to show you his browser history, log out of all dating sites and delete suspicious telephone numbers. Those are radical measures, but only knowing your self-worth and setting a new level of respect in your relationship will result in visible changes.

Of course, limiting the personal space or taking a full control over someone’s mail correspondence is too much and you should take actions wisely. Trying to take revenge is not a good idea, because it was your choice to give your betrayer a second chance, so please, be ready to perceive their attempts with an open mind.

Physical or psychological aggression is another controversial issue. If you used to have problems concerning this in your relationship, getting over such kind of past can be really hard. If you are afraid your ex might abuse your again when you get back together, you can try a relationship at a distance and live separately for some time. That is, you keep in touch, meet, but do not live together. Watch how your partner behaves, how he learns (or does not learn) how to treat your new self and control his anger. If he is able to communicate adequately after a long period of time, then you can move closer. If things start getting more serious, but you feel that you are not ready to let this person go, turn to a psychologist.

In a long run, domestic violence is one of the most terrible problems out there when it comes to the popular reasons long-term couples split up. It can cost people their health and even life, as victims of violence quickly lose their ability to resist. Therefore, in order to live again with the partner who has once shown aggression towards you, you must approach him slowly and carefully.

Here comes the question how to convince someone to give you a second chance? The answer is simple – try to feel what they are asking for and look out for the answers inside you. It is up to you to get rid of bad habits, bring about changes, and never let the same mistakes repeat. If you are not ready for changes, do not waste your time and do not make your ex suffer even more. Sometimes only splitting apart and starting dating someone new is the only option possible.

Giving someone a second chance quotes

Not ready to find answers inside you? Or maybe you have so much to say but cannot arrange your thoughts properly? Hopefully these quotes about giving love a second chance will help you and the blindfold of uncertainty will be off your eyes.

  • A tiny chance is a second name of hope. (Ruta Shale)
  • If you have a chance - take it! If this chance changes your whole life, let it happen. (Omar Khayyam)
  • An old friend deserves a second chance. (a proverb)
  • Everyone should be given a chance. But it depends on the person how will use it. (Roman Khoroshev)
  • Sometimes giving a second chance is like giving a second bullet to someone who missed the first time. (unknown author)



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