How Social Media Destroys Relationships

03.07.2018

Can social networks really lead to a breakup? Should you take virtual flirt seriously? In 2018, all relationships have to stand the test of social networks.

Social media are gaining more and more power over modern relationships. And while some believe in ‘what happens on Facebook stays on Facebook,’ others think that showing appreciation even through likes is the same as cheating. How does social media affect relationships, anyway? Is your partner’s addiction to Facebook worth your attention?

Social media destroys relationships: myth or reality?

At first, social networks were intended to serve as a tool for bringing people together. However, in reality, everything turned out the opposite way. Social media ruins relationships everywhere, and the reason is quite obvious. Relationships begin to fall apart at that moment when communication ends. Obsession with social networks literally destroys communication between partners. Approximately every third divorce in the world happens because of social media. The absence of any barriers and a wide range of potential partners for an affair lead to sad results. Since such concept as a social network was invented, we see more and more cases of cheating every year. People no longer consider infidelity a terrible flaw.

It’s pretty easy to start a conversation on Facebook because no matter whether you’re familiar with your communicator or not, you already know a lot about this person. All you need is to browse through their account and find a topic for conversation. And once you start chatting, you’re not really far from meeting in person. After that, it doesn’t take too long to start dating. Here’s how social media affects relationships. But your girlfriend’s Facebook page is still there. Who knows, maybe someone else will want to get acquainted with her. Or maybe she herself looks through other guys’ pages to find someone more interesting than you. And that’s where jealousy appears.

Relationships can crack when someone posts a song or a sweet pic on your partner’s page. You start wondering who this person is and why he’s so open with your girlfriend. And that’s where the first seeds of suspicion fall on the fertile soil of jealousy. And then you remember that you haven’t checked her messages yet... Social media doesn’t kill relationships. But mutual claims, occasional bursts of jealousy, and the lack of trust that come from them do.

What researchers say

Recent research has shown that about a third of couples without children communicate via messengers and social networks more often than in real life. Scientists interviewed 2000 adults, who were in the relationship at that moment: most were very concerned about how frequently their loved ones used their smartphones to check their social media accounts. Every sixth person believes that his or her relationship is suffering because their loved ones spend a lot of time online. Every fifth person realizes that he or she can’t stop spending too much time on social media, even if he or she understands its negative influence on the relationship. Social activity online makes people feel alienated from their loved ones. And that’s how social media destroys relationships step by step.

Moreover, the results of another research have shown that the average couple has dinner together five times a week, but almost half of the people realize that they spend this time on social networks. As a result, 75% of the participants expressed the desire to spend more time with their loved ones, without being distracted by social media.

Positive effects of social media on relationships

Despite some possible drawbacks, there are also positive social media effects on relationships.

Social networks unite couples at a distance

Now, people can’t even imagine how hard it was for couples separated by thousands of miles to stay in touch before Skype was invented. Phone talks were pretty expensive, and letters took too much time to write. Today, everything is much simpler. You can write your loved one a message on Facebook or WhatsApp.

Couples get a common pastime

Facebook has an excellent feature called ‘create an event.’ Browsing through your feed, you can spot some interesting event and visit it with your girlfriend. It’s pretty convenient because on the event’s page, you can check out photos, invite friends, or even get discounts. That’s another good example of how social media and relationships go hand in hand.

Through social media, couples get common topics for conversations

An amusing picture, a funny meme, a video, or an article spread at the speed of light on social networks. Here’s how it works: you read the article in the morning, share it with your girlfriend, and in the evening, you both discuss it at dinner.

Partners, who spend a lot of time on social media, are more satisfied with each other

People who use social networks primarily for communication are more often satisfied with themselves and their life in general. As the 2010 research shows, sharing photos and communicating in social networks strengthens relationships in families. Besides, more friends mean bigger social capital, that is, the circle of acquaintances. The growth of social capital satisfies a person’s feeling of importance.

Negative effects of social media on relationships

The fact that social media and romantic relationships can peacefully coexist in some cases doesn’t change much. Unfortunately, social networks have many more shortcomings than advantages. Here are the worst of them.

Couples stop talking to each other

With social networks, couples got a quick and convenient way to communicate. Our fast rhythm of life doesn’t leave us much time to talk to each other. But through Facebook or Instagram, it’s easier to keep in touch. But there's always the flip side of the coin. According to psychological research, about 30% of people use smartphones, tablets, and other gadgets to communicate with their loved ones through social networks instead of talking to them personally. One in five confessed that he would learn about what members of his family are doing from their status in social networks, rather than asking them directly.

Social networks cause the lack of personal space within the couple

When it comes to family relationships, social networks should be used with caution. Want to know how social media destroys relationships? Imagine that you and your loved one had a conflict. She writes about this on her Facebook page, and you’re pissed because your personal information got into social media and became the property of other people. This leads to additional conflicts.

Social networks can spoil the couple’s reputation

Keep track of the content of your page in the social network because if your partner thinks that your posts are inappropriate or spoil the reputation of the couple, this can cause a quarrel. Don’t forget about jealousy.

Social networks encourage us to stay in contact with our ex-partners

Speaking of social media ruining relationships with jealousy, a romance that faded years ago can be revived with a couple of clicks. We’re all curious about how our exes are doing, but are they worth returning to the old relationship? Your partner may not understand your desire to stay in touch with your ex. What’s more important to you – the past or the present?

The possibility of cheating rises

Relationships go through different stages, and when a couple comes across a crisis, one of the partners (and sometimes both of them) resort to virtual affairs. They think that relationships in the social network are fun and shouldn’t be perceived as an act of cheating.

We begin flirting online

Comments, likes, random messages in chat – for the last ten years, modern society has created many rules of virtual etiquette. Should we add strangers to our friend list? What does a like from a cute girl mean? Trying to determine the line between what’s permissible and what’s not, you can be sure that your common sense will eventually prevail. But flirt is flirt.

We express emotions through social networks

Here’s one more example of social media affecting relationships negatively. Today, you can congratulate her on her birthday not only with a kiss but also with a sincere message, a funny picture, or a new music video of her favorite band. Social networks gave us more interactive opportunities for communication and information sharing but made us lazier in expressing feelings face to face, just like text messages and services like Whatsapp made us much less likely to call each other.

Couples deprive each other of attention

How to turn a romantic date into a disaster? You just need to come on a date with a smartphone and regularly check for updates or chat with someone. Our gadgets become objects of jealousy.

How to deal with the negative impact of social networks

Now you know how social media affects relationships negatively. Let’s see what you can do to cope with the side effects.

Build a relationship on trust. Add your loved one’s fingerprint to your Touch ID profile and don’t put a password on your laptop.

• Control the time spent on social networks. If you know that your girlfriend gets furious when you start checking your feed during dinner or walk in the park, then stop doing it.
• The best option to get rid of social media addiction is to put your smartphone aside and check your Facebook account during ‘happy hours’ several times a day. For those who really can’t do without the Internet, this will be a serious test, and those who can control themselves won’t even notice any inconvenience.
• Thanks to social networks, you lose a huge amount of time you could spend with your loved one. Find a joint hobby and share your successes with others.
• By the way, to reduce the risk of quarrels and scandals, some married couples create joint pages in social networks and use them simultaneously.
• Think before you post something. Do you really need to share your opinion about the new restaurant in your account? Let's be frank: expert opinions should be left to experts, and countless photos of beautiful sunsets – to instamaniacs. If you see that five people have already shared a post about a rainbow in the sky over your city, then we strongly advise you not to become the sixth one. But if you really want to share your impressions with your partner – go ahead and do it but personally or in a telephone conversation.

Bottom line

Now you know how social media destroys relationships. Remember that Facebook can’t replace real-life communication. If you began to communicate with your partner via chats and social networks, you need to change your habits. If you live together and don’t have time to actually be together, then it's time to revise your daily schedule. After all, you’ve made a lot of efforts to keep this relationship going. It’s worth fighting for.