Lack of Passion in a Relationship and How to Get It Back

29.03.2019

Many people mistakenly believe that love and passion are identical concepts. Just love is a quiet, tender and contemplative feeling, while passion is a raging, impatient and all-consuming force, but both of these elements have the same source and express a feeling of affection for another person. This is not entirely true. Yes, love and passion are born where the other person begins to have a deep influence on our soul. But these are different concepts that can either complement each other or destroy. Today we will talk about passion in more detail. We'll learn what it is, why passion is important for maintaining and developing relationships, and how to return passion if you and your partner lack it.

What is Passion in a Relationship?

Passion is an extremely strong feeling that arises at the level of intuition. It is expressed as an interest, craving or inclination towards something or someone. The object of passion can be either people or objects or ideas or even thoughts.

Psychologists and philosophers of modern times describe passion as a powerful emotional outburst that prevails over the mind, actions and other feelings of a person. It is worth saying that they are convinced that passion is a neutral feeling, and only the person who experiences it is able to give this feeling a positive or negative emotional tint.

Passion directly affects the physiological processes in the human body. It releases hormones such as serotonin, dopamine, and adrenaline. The excess of these hormones significantly change and saturate the emotional background of the person, so you can simultaneously experience strong joy, anxiety, excitement, and even doubt. Being in this state, a person often commits rash acts. By the way, lack of passion in a relationship can lead to a deficiency of these hormones!

Although the concept of "passion" knows several meanings, most people identify it exclusively with sexual arousal towards a partner or even with love (using the concept of "passionate love"). So many people, experiencing no passion in a relationship, start to panic and think that love disappears from their relationship.

However, psychologists deny the identification of the concepts "love" and "passion," and the majority oppose them altogether. They are convinced that relationships built on sexual attraction are selfish, unlike love. Each partner, male or female, pursues their goal in such a relationship, using the other one. Passion in this relationship acts like a drug, it captures a person with a head but just as quickly lets you go. Scientists even set a deadline for such a relationship - no more than two years. They believe that exactly so much time in the human body remains elevated levels of a certain type of protein, neurotrophins. Over time, it begins to decline steadily, and the old feelings, taken for love, gradually disappear.

However, there is another type of passion in a relationship. For example, passion can be called a strong creative emotion towards another person. If you have a very strong desire to please your loved one, and you are ready to go for small but cute madness for this, then it is also a passion, but at its best. This feeling is often a driving force in a relationship, and when it goes away, the relationship inevitably experiences a transformation.

This passion is worth supporting and giving it to your loved one. You also have the right to expect passionate feelings towards yourself but remember that the ability to experience passion very much depends on the person's psycho. If your soulmate adheres to moderate political views, chooses a quiet and cozy evening with a book over noisy parties and never raises their voice, you should not expect from such a person a storm of emotions and manifestations of passion. Passion is not an indicator of the power of love.

Can a Relationship Survive Without Passion?

To begin with, let's define the fact that by the word "passion" we don't mean a destructive and reckless feeling, but something else. We will consider passion as a very strong attraction to another person. This attraction is always looking for a way to express itself. Your partner enters the room, your heart rate is rising, and you firmly know that you want to immediately express these feelings.

When you do something for the sake of another person, a thing that previously seemed impracticable ceases to frighten you, and you can easily cope with it. There are no barriers for you anymore. We are talking about this kind of passion. So, when wondering how to bring passion back into a relationship, make sure that you are on the same page with our definition of passion.

In fact, the question of the "survival" of your relationship without passion completely depends on your and your partner's psycho type. If you are an impulsive, active person, it will be difficult for you to live without passion. You will quickly lose taste and interest in relationships. Such people need to share inner energy with their loved one.

But there is another option in which the calm, measured pace of development of relationships will suit you perfectly. If you are a calmer person by nature, who are inclined to contemplate and act thoughtfully rather than rush headlong into the thick, then passion will not be the cornerstone of your life.

Passion can be shown with different frequency. Passion can take different forms, sometimes not the most obvious. It often happens that passion disappears, but only for a while. If you do not get hysterical every time you haven't communicated with the partner for more than an hour, this does not mean that your love dies. This means that your relationship has reached a new level. This means that you have become a more restrained and balanced person. In the end, this means that you are a full-fledged, self-sufficient person.

Before starting to cry because you do not know how to bring passion back into a marriage, ask yourself a question, "Maybe I'm moving in the wrong direction. Should I reconsider my attitude toward this?"

In our opinion, relationships can both exist and develop without passion. This is a very changeable feeling that should not be the main reference for you.

Why Passion Subsides: Reasons and Causes

This may sound a bit pessimistic, but only one couple out of ten does not break up after 7 years of marriage. Only one couple out of ten can call themselves truly happy and does it sincerely. Here we again face a problem when people attach much importance to passion and leave as soon as they realize that passion has either already died or is fading away.

In fact, this has quite understandable and well-studied reasons. As always, the answer is hidden in human nature, both physiological and mental.

Harmonic burst reduction

The biochemistry of passion is designed so that you effectively form a couple. This means that when you meet a potential soulmate, a real harmonic storm begins to occur in your body. Thanks to this storm, you temporarily become smarter, stronger, and therefore, more attractive. But your body will not be able to be in such a state for a long time. Therefore, when the level of hormones decreases, you feel that passion disappears. Consider it before plunging into the guides on how to get passion back in a relationship.

An identical view of life

Psychology also does everything to protect you and actively influence the decrease in the level of passion. Surely you know that in a state of falling in love, a person feels the need to think like his or her partner. You like the same things, you react equally to events, you understand each other perfectly. This state is pleasant but destructive for your individuality. Therefore, the psyche begins to defend itself, recalling that you are a full-fledged person, and not a continuation of another person. Many people begin to doubt the sincerity of their feelings during this period, and this is wrong.

Transformation of relationships into a family

The more your closeness grows, the less space there is for passion. It is a fact. The fact is that you begin to remind each other of one of the relatives. And love for relatives and passion, a feeling that feeds on sexual energy are completely different concepts. If you want to know how to put passion back into your marriage, try to change your attitude to your partner.

Desire for comfort

The desire to create a couple occurs not only due to the breeding instinct, but also the desire for security. Relationships are such a quiet haven, a safe fortress, where we feel warm, comfortable and safe. Agree that coziness and tranquility cannot provoke a storm of hormones, which will lead to the growth of passion.

How to Rekindle Passion in a Relationship?

So, how to get passion back in your marriage? Despite all the prejudices in this aspect, it is possible to kindle the fire of love anew and return past states. And it is not as difficult as it may seem. We have prepared a list of the best ways to rekindle lost passion in a relationship.

• Send erotic messages. Stop using the phone just for swearing and writing shopping lists.
• Do not go to bed if you have quarreled. Conciliatory sex is useful and pleasant. Make it regular, and you’ll feel new emotions.
• Experiment. For example, spend the entire weekend naked.
• Drop taboos. Feel free to talk about each other's feelings. Feel free to talk about sexual preferences. Sex and passion belong to the same category of human relationships. Developing and enriching your sex life, you gradually return the passion into your relationships. So, if you really want to know how to get passion back in your marriage, forget about indecision and confusion.
• Radically change the situation. Routine is the worst enemy of passion. It penetrates life quietly and kills everything that has ceased to fit into the usual course of things. This can be changed. Embark on a journey, take a vacation and enjoy unexpected things together, try yourself in extreme sports. This method works almost smoothly, so keep it in mind thinking of how to show passion in a relationship. The main thing is to find the courage to take the first step. Stepping over your own fear of change, you will realize that this fear is too exaggerated. Emotional rise from the feeling of victory over the routine is able to return the passion to the relationship for a very long time. How to bring passion back into your marriage? Fight for making every day of your life interesting!