How Can I Save My Relationship: Advice for Men

30.05.2020

Relationships are always a tough matter. Whether you want it or not, your couple will eventually go through crises. How can I save my relationship? The answer is - you cannot prevent every bad situation. Moreover, it is not entirely your fault when the relationship is in crumbles. Yes, it is a good tone to blame one party for everything, but everyone makes mistakes. It is a matter of choice whether you want to save the connection or not.

Can breaking up save a relationship? Can moving out save a relationship? Sometimes both answers should be positive. But if the connection is too valuable to break it, sometimes it makes sense to mend it. How to be romantic in a relationship and how to save it? Today we will cover that topic.

Is Saving a Relationship One Man’s Business?

Ladies often tell each other that since you are a man, you are the one to make the first move. That is helpful for your connection, but not entirely true. You should come to your girl after committing something horrible, like cheating or betraying. If she wants to leave because you broke her trust, it is understandable that it’s in your best interest to keep her. But if your conflicts are a result of a mere misunderstanding, manipulation, or passive-aggression, both parties should be equally interested in the solution. Why?

When a man always approaches a woman after every conflict, ways to save your relationship become one-headed. You are a chaser regardless of what you’ve done, and she’s a distant princess on her throne. In this case, your avengers are not equally distributed. With this approach, your girl might think she’s always the victim, and you might start resenting her for this unfair attitude.

Idealistically, mature couples always give feedback on problems, never leaving one person the ultimate abuser. If you or your partner always see a pattern of being emotionally abused or disregarded, ask yourself, why are you choosing to stay is a toxic relationship that doesn’t satisfy your needs? But if you know your couple is not co-dependent, it is better to try and search for ways to save a relationship.

The Main Signs That the Relationship Can Be Saved

If you still have feelings for this person, don’t rush to search for ladies dating site. Maybe there’s still something to save in your connection. Here is how you know your relationship can be saved.

1. You miss this person too much

Whether you have strong feelings or co-dependency, if your passion doesn’t go away for months after a breakup, it is a sign that something isn’t right. You either put too many emotions in the past to distract yourself from other goals in life, or this person was too valuable. If you ended things on a cliffhanger, there is a possibility that someone will approach first, as the feeling of the unknown can be agitating.

2. You ended things on a good note

It is important to break up as friends. Whatever the reasons are when you let go of a person with a heavy heart or aggression, you might want to restore the connection to prove something or have a final word. Is it worth it? Not necessarily. But if you separated on good terms, and there is no serious problem that is bugging you, why not giving a connection the last chance?

3. Betrayal didn’t take place

Betrayal and cheating are a serious matter in most relationships. After you’ve broken that perfect picture of your partner, trust takes forever to restore. But if you broke up after realizing you’re “too different,” you might just be tired of each other. How do you feel now that you’ve broken up? Enlightened or still sad? If you are depressed after separation and can’t find a good “substitution,” maybe you’re not that different after all?

4. You have children

When two adults break up, things can take an unexpected turn. Only you know whether this connection is worth saving. But if you already have ties, such as children or common property, you should try marriage counseling before breaking up for good. Take this step seriously if someone else is involved.

5. You develop serious psychological signs of distress

Having panic attacks or severe depression is a sign of co-dependency with your partner. You do not need to necessarily reconcile every time you feel down because feeling pain is a part of the separation process. But if you think you cannot control your life without a helping hand, you should at least consider sharing information with your ex-partner. If they care enough, they will help you facilitate the period of distress by deciding to reconcile or providing other emotional support.

6. You still have butterflies in your stomach

If you broke up because of feeling emotional coldness towards each other, taking a break was a smart decision. But if you still have the same feelings after separation, admitting their photos or excessively stalking them on social media, you haven’t forgotten your partner yet. Just text them and ask them about one meeting. If they think about your connection too, maybe you just wanted to cool down and reload before the second round.

In What Cases Is It Better Not to Save the Relationship?

How to save a relationship after cheating? How to save a relationship after lying? In these cases, each solution is highly individual. But psychologists say that lying is a reoccurring pattern of behavior, and cheating is a conscious choice. It’s not the act of betrayal that can be a dealbreaker. Your emotional disgust and lack of trust can finally kill a relationship.

How to save a relationship without trust? Most people do not know how to answer this question, and rightfully so. Once the trust is broken, sometimes even marriage counseling won’t help.

Trust is a fundamental notion of every healthy relationship. If you feel scared, angry, or passive-aggressive, it is the sign that you cannot let go of triggering past and forgive your partner. In that case, saving such a relationship is not worth it.

Tips and Advice on How to Save a Relationship in Crisis

If you realize your relationship has cracks, but it’s healthy, you should try and save it. This is how to save a relationship that's falling apart.

1. Speak the truth

Don’t bottle up emotions if you don’t know how to save your relationship from a break-up. Just lay all the cards on the table and admit that you don’t know how to save your relationship from a break-up and that you are planning to leave if things don’t change.

2. Don’t lie about the cause

Sometimes it might be triggering to hear that your partner is getting cold and uninterested. But you are no strangers and talking about the real issue is always better. Imagine if your partner lies about concentrating on work when, in fact, they get a third party. And finding out about the real issue would be far more scarring than hearing about disinterest.

3. Don’t bring up past wounds

If you are angry at your partner for their further mistakes, don’t turn your conversation into a blame game. Yes, you might be seriously hurt, but listing all of their mess-ups won’t make them want you more. Instead, express all the disdains of being in a distressing relationship in a more humane way. Once you start pointing fingers, don’t expect a mature resolution.

4. Meditate and try to sort your problems

Half of the time when we’re angry and disappointed, it is a projection of our thoughts. Try to distract yourself from a painful connection and instead think of ways to facilitate your life. Do you think about your career? What about your goals? Does this person help you be a better human or bring you down? Try to evaluate their role in your life based on self-image. Never think of yourself as an addition to this person.

5. Try to spend time in separation

If your connection is long-lived, it will not be easy to break up without tears and hysteria. Before cutting off a connection, try to spend time in separation. See how your life changes without your partner. If you feel much better without your partner, don’t approach them. If you feel empty inside, try to express your emotions to them.

6. Speak more

How to save a long-distance relationship? If you have the opposite problem where you don’t talk enough, try to engage in new hobbies together. If you cannot visit each other every week, spending more hours online will be a good start.

7. Don’t try to stir up feelings

Manipulation is the worst way to bring up a person from the past. If you do not know how to save a failing relationship, at least don’t make your partner feel miserable by posting your friends, parties, and flirting openly trying to make them jealous. It is a sign of toxic and selfish love. If you have such methods, think twice whether you love this person at all.

8. Try to be a better partner

Sometimes crisis happens when both parties don’t satisfy each other like they used to. Try to be a mindful partner. Listen to your person’s needs, buy them presents, help them with the chores. Be a more attentive and kind lover. Be a giver, then a receiver. Try to even out your contribution to this relationship.

9. Try extreme measures

If your connection is wilting without the dose of adrenaline, give your partner a healthy gasp of fresh air. Try to sign up for exotic classes, invite them to an unexpected voyage, practice risky hobbies, bring novelty to your sex life. Whatever you do, try to be as considerate of your partner’s needs.

10. Visit marriage counseling

If you don’t see the solution but still want to know how to save your relationship, invite your partner to a family therapist. Pour out all your emotions with professional help.

Saving a relationship can be quite a burden. You want to understand that both parties contribute to crises, and it is completely okay to sort problems out collectively. Stay kind, positive, and just show love to your partner in these tough times!