How to Deal with Emotional Cheating

03.07.2018

Have you ever heard about emotional cheating? You might have experienced it without knowing what it is. Anyway, emotional cheating defined as clearly as possible is the lack of love and the absence of a real bond between lovers or partners in a romantic relationship. In the absence of attachment and attraction, partners might start to think about having a relationship with other people. There are many different signs of emotional cheating in a relationship. Such are, for example, frequent arguments, loss of sexual attraction, ineffective communication, and other. Dealing with emotional cheating is crucial because partners in the problematic relationship continue to be together only because they haven’t cheated on each other yet or because they aren’t ready for a breakup yet.

What Is Emotional Cheating?

Emotional cheating is a harsh term. Though it has “cheating” in its name, technically, it is not cheating. However, emotional cheating indicates that a partner (or both partners) are ready to cheat in the face of such possibility. Emotional cheating might even be more serious than some one-time episode of romantic infidelity which can occur because of the irresistible impulse. It indicates that partners have serious problems with trust and communication.

Emotional cheating occurs when partners get used to each other, notice their relationship doesn’t work out as planned or because they do not feel satisfied. Close personal relationships are always about emotions. Therefore, if partners make each other feel miserable, their relationship is emotionally flawed.

“Cheating” implies not only the possibility that a partner can have somebody else but also inability to be emotionally connected to the existing partner. Nevertheless, often partner can have somebody else they love despite feeling nothing towards or even hating a present partner.

Why do people continue being in a relationship that is not emotionally healthy? Those who haven’t experienced it think of such situation as easy. But these things are never easy. On the contrary, they’re almost always very complex. Many partners may continue being together because it is convenient, because they’re afraid to inflict suffering, and because they don’t know how to deal with emotional cheating.

Emotional cheating is, therefore, a condition of either one or both partners in a relationship. This condition is characterized by the lack of trust, failure to communicate effectively, and alienation. It is a condition that usually directly leads to a breakup. Thus, it should be coped with in order for a couple to survive.

Signs of Emotional Cheating

There are certain emotional cheating signs noticing which beforehand can help you avoid the catastrophe. Be attentive to your own and your partner’s behavior patterns, activities, opinions, and moods. Always practice mindfulness when it comes to evaluating your romantic relationships. People often perceive everything as it happens and take things for granted. Don’t fall for this and always interpret your relationship critically. Ask yourself a question and answer it: are you happy?

Unhappiness

Emotional cheating in a relationship can cause unhappiness. Moreover, unhappiness itself may be in the realization that a relationship doesn’t work out as planned or, at least, properly. According to a lot of studies, failed relationships and inadequately harsh personal romantic breakdowns are among the most common reasons of unhappiness. Therefore, if you’re unhappy, then you might be in a relationship with a wrong person or, on the contrary, you may not suit your partner.

Stress, Anxiety, Depression

Being in a relationship that doesn’t work is stressful. That is, perhaps, one of the most stressful things ever. Moreover, it gets worse over time in case nothing is done to improve the existing relationship. Therefore, if you’re wondering where all your energy goes and why you feel low, the answer is that your relationship lacks substance or integrity and is not solid. In other words, you either do not really love your partner (though it is difficult to admit that) or suffer because your partner doesn’t show you love. Moreover, this alienation can be mutual with both partners being unhappy but staying together for unknown reasons.

Dishonesty

Lack of trust is one of the clearest and most obvious signs of emotional cheating. Partners are, at the very least, dishonest about their feelings towards each other. Though there may be no love and no attraction, it rarely happens so that any of the partners is able to admit that. It seems much easier to ignore the problem and to refuse to admit something is wrong. And that is why relationships that start to fail continue to fail until they inevitably end. Partners lie to each other and lie to themselves continuing to sustain the illusion of happiness and love. Partners might start to avoid each other or lie about small things to avoid real communication.

Miscommunication

Is emotional cheating real? Yes, it is. But nothing proves that as well as communication. Close personal relationships and, to be perfectly clear, any relationships between people are always founded on communication. The exchange of information and shared feelings, opinions, thoughts, and desire altogether constitute a connection you have with your partner. You do a lot of things together but your communication is the essence of your relationship.

Emotional cheating leads to the decline in communication. If you feel that you no longer can express yourself clearly or don’t want to, then there’s trouble. You cannot ignore or be ignored by a person you spend most of your time with. That is not why people form relationships. Moreover, you should express yourself as easily and be understood as directly as possible by your partner because it is the closest person you have in your life.

How to Deal With Emotional Cheating

So, you are now well aware that emotional cheating is not something you can ignore without consequences. How to deal with emotional cheating? There is a chance for you to save your relationship, though, you definitely should keep in mind that not all cases of emotional cheating can be successfully resolved. Sometimes, it is much better to just let go of a relationship that doesn’t work.

Counseling

Couple counseling is, perhaps, the best way of getting over emotional cheating. A therapist can act as an arbitrary in your struggles. Moreover, a therapist serves as a third party providing you with a fresh and objective perspective on your relationship. A therapist can reveal a lot that you haven’t known before. Visiting a therapist with your partner is the most effective and, probably, the best solution possible. But the success of this venture depends entirely on you and your partner. You and your partner are to do the hardest work and only then can you hope for success.

Improvements

All areas of your life as a couple should be improved. The way you spend time, talk, live together, communicate, and even make love. Everything should be developed to the point where it brings you happiness and not suffering. Reconsider everything you’re putting into the relationship and turn over a new page.

Communication

You should express yourself as clearly as possible. Be understanding, compassionate, and tolerant. Have patience and never lose control. You control your emotions. Your emotions do not control you. Think rationally and in any quarrels provide arguments. Listen to your partner as well and have regular talks in regard to the fact of your emotional alienation.

Activities

Being together is essential if you want to know how to get over emotional cheating. You should spend more time together in a meaningful and substantial way. Do something interesting together. For example, go for a bicycle ride instead of a routine sitting at home. Studies show that couples who spend their time together actively, creatively, and originally are more likely to overcome their problems. Time spent usefully with pleasure gives you a memorable experience and mutual satisfaction. Sharing these positive emotions is crucial for having a healthy relationship.

Temporal Separation

Some couples try to separate from each other for some time, though it helps only in about 25% of the cases. Nevertheless, having some time off can give you a lot to think about. Keep in mind that separation is not a breakup (though, it often leads to one) which means that it doesn’t allow you to cheat. But you probably know yourself that actual cheating is a single thing you don’t need to do trying to get over emotional problems.

Emotional Cheating vs Friendship

How are friendship and emotional cheating related? Not directly, but in certain cases one of the partners might be more attached to another person emotionally calling it friendship. Another partner usually considers it a green light to be jealous. Moreover, one of the partners who cannot create an emotional bond might suggest being friends instead, which is hurtful for the other partner. So, it is emotional cheating vs friendship.

Ex-lovers rarely stay friends unless they have kids. That just doesn’t happen too often and for a reason. Once you’ve been in love, there’s no longer joy in being friends with this same person. It’s like going to level 5 again after you’ve been on level 10. Therefore, it is better to just break up and move on than trying to be friends. After all, friends are too emotionally attached to each other. Therefore, emotional problems will pop again no matter whether it is a friendship or a relationship.

Finally, jealousy is never good. The golden rule here is that the one who is jealous is always to blame. Though a couple might have problems with honesty and communication, being jealous never helps. On the contrary, it worsens the situation. Jealousy should be treated separately, being itself a serious issue. In most cases, when one partner has a friend of an opposite sex, it automatically makes another partner jealous. Because there is no trust.

How to forgive emotional cheating? That’s easy – just do it. But it is harder to re-establish the foundations of your relationship than to just leave your conflicts in the past. You can’t just ask for forgiveness or forgive your partner and move on. The problem won’t disappear unless certain measures are taken. Follow the tips provided here to do that.

All in all, emotional cheating is a real thing. It can ruin your relationship quite easily unless you admit the existence of a problem. It will be difficult because, essentially, it means that either one or both partners do not have any love within. But, you can deal with it only after you realize that the problem exists. Improve your communication and spend more time together, visit a therapist and do everything it takes to become more emotionally involved in your relationship. Good luck!