How to Move on from an Ex
02.05.2019
Why Can't I Get Over My Ex?
It sometimes happens that love fades away, and the disagreements in a couple, as divorce lawyers say, become irreconcilable. Many people quickly recover after breaking up and begin building new relationships, but what if an emotional trauma was too deep? Today we are going to list some reasons onto why you may have some issues with letting go of your ex and what should be done instead.
You lock your emotions in yourself
How to move on from an ex? Do not try to mask the pain and resentment after a breakup, especially if you are still in love with your ex – you must not lock yourself in and keep all of the emotions within. Many psychologists recommend creating a whole ritual for this: sit on the floor in the center of an empty room and burst into tears for a couple of hours. The desire to whimper throughout the day after that should disappear. Various experts also recommend getting rid of the personal belongings of an ex-lover in the house by any means. We agree, to get out of sight is to get out of mind! A good option for shedding negative emotions will be to do some workouts in a gym, dancing sessions will raise your spirit, and boxing will help you blow off steam.
You forgot about yourself
If earlier you literally couldn’t imagine your life without a partner, then after parting you certainly experience a feeling of emptiness: with whom do you spend your evenings now, with whom are you supposed to eat breakfast, how are you supposed to go shopping alone and plan a vacation, how to start a new life? Learn to entertain yourself. For example, master a new hobby for which there was never enough time. For example, Jennifer Aniston went through a breakup with Brad Pitt and yoga made it easier for her to go through it. The lesson is clear: it is more efficient to concentrate on self-development and to strive forward than to just stand in one place.
You do not communicate with your friends
How to let go of an ex? Do not be afraid to be weak and pour all of your frustrations and feelings to those you trust, although you should not abuse this right of yours because they also have a right to relax. If you don’t know how to let go of an ex then “Hello Next! Forget your ex” app for iOS will certainly come in handy. In essence, this is a coach that is always at your fingertips: the application gives you daily tasks to help you cope with emotional pain, regain self-confidence and, finally, find a new partner. In case of an acute attack of depression, feel free to click on the SOS button and follow the instructions. Consider that you have found another friend, and they will never be "too busy" to hear you out.
You don't go outside
No wonder they say that movement is the essence of life. How do I move on from my ex? No matter how much you want to spend all of your days in bed, force yourself to get out of the house for some light jogging. It will not be easy at first, but over time a positive result will affect both the emotional background and the physical form. In addition, do not abuse cigarettes and alcohol since it is proved that such unhealthy habits ultimately aggravate the condition and provoke a sense of guilt. Moreover, in a drunken state, you risk doing things that you may regret.
You do not want to make plans
How to move on from an ex-girlfriend? Don’t blame yourself. The guilt complex often accompanies breakups. Surely you also think that you could be more agreeable in future relationships, look better, be politer. If there really were mistakes on your part, let them help you learn the lessons that you should remember in the future, but there should be no self-blame. Instead of regretting the past, start a diary and write out the most desirable personal goals for the next month, one year and five years, and then make a list of small steps that will lead you to them. Think about what you can do for your happiness today and how to start a new life.
How to Let Go of an Ex
People believe that any relationships can be rebuilt, which is nonsense. If you don’t know how to let go of an ex you still love, you should ask yourself this, do you really love them? Maybe the following tips on how to let go of your ex will make it easier to think about it.
You need to be brave
How to let go of your ex? First, you need enough courage to take this blow of fate. Love is an unearthly feeling that gives wings, you become better, more beautiful, smarter and kinder. Unfortunately, these talents are not innate but come along with wonderful feelings for another person, and they go away when love ends.
It is necessary to tell yourself that this is the end, not a pause. After all, to indulge yourself with illusions is not the way to the beginning of a new life, but just dancing on the grave of your past. Have the courage to step into another dimension in which you are alone. It is not the end. Others succeeded in doing so, and you will succeed as well. No one has ever died because of a breakup; you are a full-fledged person and you can live on.
Love yourself more
The period immediately after a breakup is difficult, almost impossible, at least it seems to be this way. But you need to understand that you must put your interests above the interests of others. This rule should protect you well from your ex-partner, now you are the master of your own fate, not them. “We are friends, after all, my ex also finds it difficult to get out of this pit, I should help them out,” forget this nonsense. You have to get out of the abyss of despair after a breakup to be able to help someone else.
Listen to your loved ones
From personal experience, I've learned that, no matter how unique, cosmic, and eternal your relationship may seem to you, your relatives perfectly understand what you need. Yes, none of those around you understand what kind of love you’ve had, how much pain you are in, but they don’t need it. There is no reason to refuse to listen to your loved ones’ advice under this pretext, “You do not understand. Our relationship was unique, it was pure magic. There is no other relationship in the whole world like the one that we’ve had.” Friends and relatives do not need to hear all of that, there is no relationship now after all. Also, it is highly unlikely that your relationship was that unique, this is a problem with perception, you cannot truly feel what other people feel, and you cannot know the feelings of other people, so please be realistic.
All friends crave to communicate with you
How to let go of an ex-girlfriend? Forget about the thought that nobody needs your problems, you are afraid to become obsessive. First off, friends are needed to help each other in the most difficult of moments. Secondly, there is no such thing as being intrusive in this context, your friend will probably give you outside perspective on things and maintain a sincere attitude throughout your dialogue. You can offend your loved ones if you decide to allow your problems and doubts to make you weaker. You are going to disappoint your friends with your actions and attitude. Do not hurt those you love by keeping it all in, there is no reason to.
If your friend is far from interpersonal relationships and has never encountered such a thing, it is even better. It means they won’t really get into your stories, which is actually good. They are going to talk about something else, try to distract you and make you laugh. After a meeting, write a note for yourself that, as it turns out, you can be happy after a breakup, and it was possible for you to get distracted from all of your problems, even if only for a few hours.
The whole world is around you, it is not inside just one person
How to move on from an ex? Watch a movie with a high rating from IMDb, preferably with a confusing and unpredictable plot, so that a movie gets you intrigued for a while. Watch the 500 Days of Summer, Joseph Gordon-Levitt is great in it. Watch the Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind and be very attentive. Maybe it’s that time again to watch “Her,” it is a great movie after all.
Protect yourself from your ex
Dealing with an ex who won't let go is horrible. The fewer effects your ex will have on your life, the less time you will suffer after a breakup. Do not communicate with them for a while, do not visit your ex’s pages on social networks, you should instead ban them so that there would be no potential mention of that person in the future. There is no reason to lie to yourself and think that you don’t care, when, in fact, you do.
You can believe in love, but not in fairy tales like, "Let's be friends, we just need to take a little break." Yeah, you can end up being friends, but don’t try to become friends in just a few days after a breakup. It’s a new life, it’s a life without a partner. This is a new page, a clean sheet, which should not be stained with the remains of your broken relationships. There are several billion more people in the world who will appreciate your love and affection.
Open up to new relationships
Installing Tinder after parting is a standard procedure. Do not worry if you immediately have thoughts about a new relationship. The opposite would be weirder. Since you have let a person into your inner world, after their departure, there remains an emptiness that needs to be filled with something positive. There is no reason not to meet new people, it will a great way to escape from sadness. Some people even yearn for their ex-partners, until they meet a new lover. And it does not matter how much time has passed. Although most such relationships don’t last all that long, a new relationship after a breakup will certainly help you regain your energy.
Love the world
How to move on from an ex you still love? Remember that everyone can find something in you to love. You must understand that you are going to encounter a lot of people who will love you for who you are. But they will do so only when you are ready both mentally and emotionally.
There is a Chinese piece of wisdom that says that you cannot pour water in a jug that is already filled, you need to get rid of something. We rarely deal with jugs, but we know a thing or two about smartphones. Delete old and unnecessary files, especially photos that have something to do with the past and your ex-partner. It makes no sense to go back to the past. There is not enough time for everything that is happening around us in the XXI century, so you should not waste your time thinking about the past by wasting the precious time that you have left. And if you manage to invent the time machine, then you are going to be the biggest idiot in the world if you decide to waste it on an attempt to get back together with your partner. If you are still asking yourself, “Why do I still love my ex?” then maybe you don’t really love them, but you just can’t imagine a life without them. Remember that it all goes away, you will become a new person, just give it some time.
