Is Arguing Healthy in a Relationship?

16.12.2019

It is in human nature to have conflicts. For us having conflict is the fastest way to find out who is right. Usually, people raise their voices and offend their partners during conflicts. Some people believe that conflicts in relationships indicate big problems. According to those people, if you often have arguments with your romantic partner, then your relationships are weak, and you both are not happy. Of course, they are terribly wrong about this because conflicts and arguments can be very beneficial for everyone. For example, women seeking men sites should be ready to have arguments because one of the most important matters of online dating is to let your new partner know your real goals and plans for him or her.

The whole fact that soon you are going to have a conflict with someone actually helps concentrate and serves as motivation and energizing factor. When arguing in a relationship, you show each other your real emotions. Showing real emotions is very important because you won't be able to build a healthy relationship if you don't understand your partner. Conflicts can help you let your partner know that you have a very different view on this or that situation. So, is arguing in a relationship healthy? This greatly depends on the way how you argue with your partner.

Do Arguing Always Have Negative Consequences in the Relationship?

Does arguing make a relationship stronger? According to all the above mentioned, it seems that the answer to this question is "Yes," but you should know that there are some pitfalls. We have already said that you should be very careful when you have arguments with your partner. For example, if you are always arguing in a relationship, you don' really care about your word choice, and don't afraid to insult your partner, then your arguments are definitely have come too far. In this case, you will face negative aspects of your arguments. Remember, during conflicts and arguments, it is very easy to become emotional and accidentally insult your partner, but you should avoid this at any cost.

When arguing in a relationship becomes unhealthy? For example, you always wanted to meet a single girl online, and you finally got it. During your online conversations, you had small arguments about the best fiction books, some film adaptations, and other non-important or very important things. If you don't feel offended during or at the end of your arguments, then everything is fine, and you are good to go. Problems appear when you or your partner begin to feel offended, and don't receive apologies. In this case, your emotional well-being is deteriorating. It means that you will have more arguments, and they even more negatively affect your or your partner's emotional state.

Humans can't live without having conflicts and arguments. So, what to do when arguing in a relationship? First of all, you need to control yourself, don't go emotional, and don't get angry, or you may accidentally insult your partner. Secondly, you need to pay attention to your partner's emotional state. If you see that he or she becomes angry, then you should immediately stop this argument. You see, angry people have a hard time controlling their actions. Thus, your angry partner may insult or offend you, and it is very hard to remain calm when you feel offended or insulted. So, you may get angry too and start insulting your partner in return. As you have guessed, this is the worst turn of events.

What Are the Benefits of Arguing in a Relationship?

How to deal with arguing in a relationship? You don't have to deal with it. If you ask, "Is arguing everyday normal in a relationship?" then the answer is NO. You not only can but also should have arguments in relationships, and further in this article, we will explain why, but having arguments every day is far beyond normal. Later in this article, we will share some ideas on how to avoid arguing in a relationship. And now, let's learn more about why arguments actually a good thing are, and why you don't have to be afraid to argue with your partner.

Arguing prevent frustration

When you start dating someone, you have very high expectations from your relationships. Often, people are very afraid to show their discontent because they don't want to disappoint their partners. Those people avoid having arguments at any cost. Unfortunately, sooner or later, the tension will rise between you, and your partner will tell everything that he or she thinks about you. Needless to say, that this will utterly destroy your imaginary picture of your cozy and happy relationship.

Arguing helps get to know your partner better

How can you possibly learn something about your partner's tastes, ideas, and beliefs if he or she always agrees with you? Disagreements and arguments show that we are different. Thus, we can learn more about our partners' views, desires, and goals. This aspect is very important if you want to build a long-lasting relationship with this person.

Arguing helps you grow

During arguments with your partner, you learn what you can or should improve in yourself. By working on your flaws and shortcomings, you will improve the quality of your life and will have happier relationships. The most important thing is to be gentle during your arguments.

Main Signs of Healthy Arguing

Some people may have arguments every day, and still, they feel happy together, while others can have just one arguing per week, but those arguments literary obliterate their relationships. How is this possible? You see, the first type of people has so-called healthy arguments, and they know how to make their point without insulting or offending their partners. The second type of people doesn't possess that knowledge and skills. Thus, their arguments always are very harmful to their relationship.

1. It is not personal

Your arguments turn into a problem only when you or your partner begin to use your disagreements to attack each other's personalities. When you or your partner make a personal attack, or shame each other, it is a clear sign that you don't know how to differentiate, and this indicates that you don't know how to deal with the fact that your partner has a different opinion. If this is not your case, and you have never attacked or were attacked by your partner, then your arguments are more or less healthy and even positive.

2. You stick to the one topic

Another great indicator that your arguments are healthy is that you never switch topics. Everyone makes mistakes, you and your partner definitely have some history of disappointing, insulting each other. If during your arguments, you never remind each other of your past mistakes and stick to one topic, it means that everything is okay between you. Remember, during your arguments, you should never change topics if you haven't found the way how to fix a current problem that actually caused an argument.

3. You don't mind saying sorry

Sometimes during the healthiest arguments, people may come too far. In this case, it is important to be able to say sorry. Thus, you show your partner that you care about him or her and that they are very important for you. For example, you started this argument because your partner had done something even though you had asked him or her not to. If your partner explains the reasons why he or she did this and says that he or she is sorry, then you should forgive him or her and end your argument.

4. You respect each other

Is there something that can be more important than respect in relationships? Experts say that if you want to be happy with your partner and dream to have a long-lasting relationship, then you should always respect your partner. It is not, even, about respecting his or her choice, it is about respecting their personality. During arguments, it is very easy to lose control and start doing or saying something that you will regret in the future. This won't happen to you if you respect your partner. Two people who respect every aspect of each other personalities can't have unhealthy arguments.

5. You don’t involve the third party

When people have unhealthy arguments, they don't feel support from their partners. Thus, they begin searching for support from the third parties. For example, your girlfriend may involve her mother or friends in your arguments. People use this trick only if they feel offended and want to offend their offender back. If during your arguments, you and your partner never seek help from third parties, then you can honestly say that you never go too far. Generally, involving third parties in your relationships is the shortest way to a break-up.

How to Determinate Unhealthy Arguing?

As you can see, arguing is a very personal process. Thus, what is normal for other people may not be normal for you and your partner and vice versa. If you want to know the answer to the question, "Is arguing in a relationship unhealthy?" then the answer is NO. Arguing is a very important part of our lives. With the help of small conflicts, we can resolve many issues and fix various problems. The most important thing is to remain calm and concentrate on the main topic during your arguments. Remember, you argue to resolve a problem, and not to create another one.

Generally, arguing is not a very pleasant process. No matter who you are, and how long you have been living with your partner, it is very hard to have arguments with him or her. Often, you feel that your romantic partner is a part of you and arguing with the closest person is always hard and can easily ruin your positive mood for long. But there is a huge difference between healthy arguments and arguments that may lead to the breakup. Remember, during healthy arguments, you feel sad together with your partner, while during unhealthy arguments, you feel sad because of your partner.

As a result of a healthy argument, you and your partner come to some solution together, while an unhealthy argument ends with you making separate conclusions. Another important difference between these two is that after your healthy argument, you behave very friendly, and want to spend time together. There won't be any name-calling, insulting, or devaluing your partner. Often healthy arguing ends with very emotional and vigorous sex because both parties need to release their energy and tension.

Main Tips on How to Fix Arguing in a Relationship Don't worry if after reading this article you understood that you often have unhealthy arguing with your partner. There is nothing to be afraid off, because if you are still together, then you can fix everything. So, how to solve arguing in a relationship? There are many different ways, and we are going to share with you a couple of tips on how to avoid arguing at all, and how to do it right.

1. Respect your partner

People often argue because they see different ways of achieving the same goals. You and your partner both believe that your way of doing something is better, and this is why the problems may appear or may not. You see, it all depends on you two. The more you respect your partner, the more often you agree with him or her, the less often you will argue about something.

2. Trust your partner

As we have said before, trust is a fundamental thing for any healthy relationship. Generally, the logic here is the same as with respect. The more you trust your partner, the less you doubt his or her decisions, the less often you will have reasons to argue about something.

3. Remain calm

According to statistics, calm people less often make mistakes. Thus, during your arguments, you and your partner should remain as calm as possible. Thus, none of you will have any reason to raise his or her tone or feel insulted or offended. Plus, while being very calm, you will find a solution way faster.

4. Smile

Have you ever heard about the power of a human smile? If you will be smiling during your arguments with your partner, you show him or her your positive intentions, and indicate that you don't want to offend him or her. Just make sure that your smile is honest and doesn't look like a grin.

5. Work on your emotional contact

When people are together for a very long time, they can understand each other without saying anything. If you search for a way to fix arguing in a relationship, then you should work on your emotional contact with your partner. The aforementioned may sound too poetic, but you will see a huge difference when you get there.

As you can see, there is no reason to be afraid of arguing with your partner. If you follow special rules and have good intentions, then your arguments with your partner will never cause any harm to your relationship, and even will have the opposite effect. By the opposite effect, we mean positive kicks that will help you improve yourself and your quality of life. Remember, your romantic partner is the closest person you will have in your life, and it is in your power to make his or her life with you perfect. Trust and respect your partner, be ready to accept your mistakes and say sorry for them, also don't be too hard on your partner when he or she does something wrong. These are small rules that can make your life happy and will help you avoid painful and unhealthy arguments. It is in our nature to have arguments, but we argue with our lovers only because we want to be happy.